Don't drink nuts and drive

A Bobo Shantis selling Haile Selassie I nuts on de road


Ras, dis Lady Hochoy baked " Special" nuts salty and sweet nice make from God's retarded children in all he glory from dem bad-mind parent who make dem so. Eh, ras, bumbaclot, ah ask yuh to clean meh windshield wit yuh hairnet?"

What to look for

1. A busy six lain highway
2. A well groomed man covering his rasta with a wrap
3. Bags of nuts and cashews

As I was doing this study, a man came to gate selling pies and drinks from a larger cooler which he carried on a hand trolley. With another work, the Jehovah Witness came canvasing, I could not move, as my face was covered iwith black paint

Mr. Greogry at Feinin's oysters around de Savannah

A topical oyster vendor around the Queen's Park Savannah. Trinidad

What to look for:

1. A collapsible table
2. A flambeaux
3. A dirty table cloth
4. A mixture of condiments in unmarked bottles, cut limes, salt, pepper and a glass
5. Oyster shells that have been clean using a large knife
6. A paint bucket containing water
7. A dirty rag that is used to wipe the table
8. The vendor of Indian stock, wearing heavy rings and a gold watch,
9. The Koran


Mr. Gregory dough choke on de concoction, drink it slowly, it go tingle eh throat like medicine de doctor order. Where de money to pay he, in yuh back pocket?


Yuh feel I is old eh, yeh feel meh stick bend? how come yuh bawling now eh, de medicine working eh, is you to pay me, Feinin give meh two more glass, let meh damage de box put she too in hospital under 24 hour surveillance
Learn more about Oyster vendors

In this study, I realized that I am beginning to have re-occurring themes, once again the old man and young lady characters

Feinin at Zen

Come, and sample Feinin Smithy spicy corn soup lingerie and ting

Meh secret ingredient does have dem coming back for more, Eh yuh want more dumpling

By all means, this is a true story behind a corn soup vendor who added his own special seasoning*. Take a closer look at the ladle. As for the vendor character, I wanted him to carry a matty ras, have silver teeth, a Hawaiian shirt, a towel and white shorts. The Zen fete goer had his fancy silk shirt open to chest exposing his 24k gold chain. He oblivious to what he being served, as he watches patrons enter or be denied into the discotheque.

Feinin Smithy, president of the Corn Soup Federation of Vendors from the English Speaking Caribbean

What to look for:

1. One portable table with a decorative table cloth, the vendor stands behind it

2. One or two large vats

3. A gas burner and a propane tank identical to the one shown here

4. Styrofoam cups, paper napkins, pepper dispensers

Corn soup is a soothing broth of vegetables, peas, meat stock and seasoning and enjoyed after a night of feting. The vendors are seen outside clubs.

* This is based on a actual event after the pot spilled over and exposed an under garment

Zen is a popular discotheque in Port of Spain, Trinidad

Indians of America

I had major issues over this work as if my representation avoided the greater meaning of the beginning of life, if so, I am strangely fascinated by man's void in an universe so vast, untouched by man's creation, no world such as this may exist....


Indians of the Amazon

In composing the traditional carnival character of the fancy Indian, I thought of the Indian native to the Americas and attempted at first to make a garment, then I made a moccasin shoe using a square piece of cloth. Overall, I felt as if I was mocking a culture. But as I thought of the Indian, I thought too of the continent and the migration of its peoples from the tip of south America across to Russia.


Look ah cascadura*

Then I thought, if this planet was a rock which separated to form land masses, the formation of the sea may have occurred when an ice comet collided and disintegrated the side of the planet where the Pacific ocean exists and struck where it is the deepest. In the catastrophic explosion, the moon may have been a fragment caught in the gravitational pull, and the craters left behind filled with the remains of the comet, ie, water. The water then became contaminated by the fusion * of molten rock which made it salted. As the water boiled, the water evaporated and condensed over the plates, and the sun's energy produced living plasma through the process of photosynthesis.


Mocking Bird

In the American Indian culture, ceremonies involve creating the movement of an eagle

* The cascadura is a fresh water catfish native to Trinidad
** Sulfur and sodium

Stilt Walker

The Stilt Walker

In this study of the stilt walker or in Trinidad Old Mas, "The Moko Jumbie" I was concerned over my safety. Toppling over and falling for art would be a header. Yet the concept was to camouflage myself behind a bush as would an African Stilt-Walker to see and warn of foreboding danger.


On a ladder In preparation


The high lookout

JAB JAB

Carnevil


The Diable Diable with a decorative mirror breast plate and foot bell tassels

The traditional carnival character Jab Jab or Diable Diable. The costume follows the traditions of the Medieval jester. The Jab Jab carries his whip and competes by the art of cracking it and combating a rival in physical whip fights.


Jab Jab cracking his whip

Imps - A nation of many

Imps and colorful devils


Winged imps

In the category of traditional carnival devils, this character is called an imps. The imps paints his body with black tar, white, red or more popular seen in blue paint. He carries a whistle, haunts and berates spectators as he canvases for money by doing tricks, namely fire-throwers. The dance is a slow side to side hop accompanied by band instrumental performers who use Crix biscuit tins as the sounding drum.

The Bookman character is similar although he carries a larger devil headpiece and a book listing the names of those carnival masqueraders whose deeds have earned them a free ticket ride to hell.

The Cow Band character - Traditional Carnival

The loose cow


The traditional character generally rampages through the crowd and acts like a bull, an imps keeps him at bay with a whistle and whip


The garment can be made from burlap or dry fig leaves, the latter should not be worn in case it is lit. Cases have been reported.

King sailor final dance - Feinin

The sailor with his fire stoker. Where dem udder King sailors, is war still in Iraq cause me ain't see only is me like here


My bladder bust, me pelt behind wall and pee* river like Caroni and is only two Man Guinness ah drink cost meh meh whole month salary....

In traditional carnival, the Fancy king sailor wears an elaborate head-piece, a decorative symbol on the back of the shirt, and bell bottoms trousers. The uniform is copy of the American sailor based in Trinidad during the second world war. It is also the time the oil steel drums was invented into the musical instrument Trinidadian call the steel drum. An important aspect of the sailor is his arsenal of baby powder and his or her sailor dance.

* A common site during Trinidad carnival are men urinating on walls, and women over drains

White bat - Feinin

The traditional bat character





This is the traditional bat, in the study, I had hoped, if I was more flexible, that arching my back further may have worked along the lines of what I thinking of. I also wanted to hang upside down from a tree branch, but it risk falling and causing injury. Wrapping the cloth around my body also gave me beans.

Midnight Robber Rustler

The Midnight Robber character is based on the Mexican revolution fighter, here he is toting his firearm and sombrero hat

Robber speech: "On a breezy morning, like ah king out of hell, I drift across de Savannah to see who dere. Obeah make dem drink, spinning flasks toil grave stone ride only by bus. Ah bamsee pass meh straight, de horn dem does fight, is Tuesday mask parade. Obeah money rise from ghosts pelt stone at she. Ah tornado coming, ghosts in a panic, money thunder, Tobago higher. Drink, mess wit obeah, candle bright squeaking imps, bottle sins, Rose pelt bottle back.

Corbeaux miss treat lion, is jackass moon-walking leprechaun. De Queen know him free, waiting jewels, Christmas time, bite she hand. Trickster Tuesday, monkey pee near tree, bust bottle, cap cut. Drink swift Trinbago monster, blue band next, AIDS limp wine, Tuesday payol messing wit water glue. Naked, curse, fadas noose, chest game winner, Corbeaux reach, cinema picture perfect, bomb school teacher, class take cover, is obeah licks, teacher cry, run a mock, best village, San Fernando taxi stand crash, is meh first test creeping across dem coaster car brake jam, bamsee empty jam. Buff, patang, screech, lopsided, spinning wheels.

Chicken nest, cock feet rampage, Ajax roti curry fig. Look money teach monster fadar country, Rainorama hotel cock fight lose. Tuesday masqueraders, pantie bust. Two sinners scratch, bite, pull, till tot tots flop out as dem man wit roti curry saltfish gold cap grin, spin and wine on ah nudder sinner rump.



Bottle heading, swing flying across meh teet. Pang, whatang, jook, look cuff....pencil sharp inside neck, suffer det. Money problem accuse. Robber wicked, fire mouth, shark fin grouper, swallow and emasculate traitors in a land of many. Soca, obeah hand, toejam reap high from dem toe, is many fall dead marching on grave stone road.

Potato, carrot, weed pie sweet, jump up sinners, bounce ah Mac truck. Ajax cement flour mix juice, lucky, cancer treat dem well, Old, fat wish, stone hedge coffin, passing La Basse cook, fry rice, chicken pilau soup, oops meh time to reap,water so stink, follow meh to town, bus route wrong, Obeah trickster, Charlotte street roadside pavers candle bright, obeah now rest for dem Tuesday evening mêlée lap.

Lookout money, dem corrupt singers, tell is I who draw, fire, shoot de King of mas. Follow, rise beneath Charlotte. Money wavers, look, is trickster coco payol empty gun, stop meh dead, bring back sweetee, tulum, conchs, shilling price......money rise and send meh back to hell".

Dame Lorraine - Rachel Pringle

Dame Lorraine, Rachel Pringle of Barbados

The Barbadian beauty woes, ....men break* in their pants. She releases her merkin belt, Canadian Newfoundlanders ** arrive at the Puerto de España docks...

The black Marilyn Monroe Lorraine

Rachel: "If dat tuna fish whore feel because she sleep wit John Focking K feel she have ting on meh, well meh sweet sugar cane juice and vat rum make meh flat land owner nearly give way CANADA for we black molasses whiplash syrup dem Jah make ca make meh so breed in Bajan prime pollock".


One of the many portraits of Pringle

In the Dame Lorraine studies, I had encountered many compounded problems keeping all together the elements of the costume, this was a parody of Rachel Pringle, but the studies look much like Chris Ofilli's portraits. Regardless of the outcome, I need assistance in these types of parodies where I am unable to see correctly, there were details that went array.

* Cum
** Canadian Atlantic cod

Susie Wong at Amber Light District

Miss Wong that is a work of art, it's not for sale like how you present yourself

Is now I get off meh day evening shift and de WASA truck driver push meh out in de junction wit plenty Red, Amber and Green light. Me accustom to Red, but is now I invite to plus extra shift at Singer Measuring Tape Artise Modern showing. Dat is a clott district playwhe 7 two ball plus, me like to play wit 12 wit four ball. I see is big iron......gate and is New York security lock meh down one time. I stand like cat woman when dis zamie scan meh leg high and brush meh cat slight. I say yuh focking paying meh, is $200 reach already.

I see dem long walkway, is dark, dark and playwhe 7 far, so I protection wit Carib bottle neck to damage dem mans, womens, dogs, horses and when I is in heat, donkeys to scar dem face if dem try to outsmart meh, watch good is plenty around I do. I walk brave when dis big focking landrover chicken coop nearly lick meh way and pelt meh on de side of de road where I is accustom, I say dat fowl better not be Amber cause I just razor up dis week meh cat and call it ah Susie just in case.

I see tick Singer Measuring Tape wood sign and I stoop down and pull-out meh Macintosh Plantain Pro 17inch to see if meh web cam working and read meh email invite. I slip it back wit ease. I see stair like World Trade and dem all strong strapping firetruckman dead in vain and dem prick waste, I pray dem getting plenty brush in Heaven. I raise meh leg on de landing and work and rub each time, is higher and stronger till I mount de last step, I release, meh cat smile and make meh sheer pantie hose flint and cause flame between meh legging.

As I reach dem Cobo look so, and so and so like chicken neck when dem man,women, dog, horse and donkey use to eye around meh cat wit dem totee eye and mout. I watch junior sec painting... and remember..... ah remember but I ca remember, or is handicap International Art expo. Meh ain't see Amber light, but meh see candle light in church anyhow build under tent. I say, why dem eh tell meh is dis, I win Miss Best Village prize ready, and meh in Sunday best, when is table clott garment and tie dem expect.

Amber light district, Singer Measuring Tape Artise Modern, National Housing Tenants playwhe 7, bu, bu, Susie yuh tief ah Amber?
.
As ah surprise dem pay full and to meh too is plus extra shift I must wok, dem Cobo expect meh to brush small Amber special wit book reading option. If meh cat have to wok separate shift, dat is not meh business, I does like to catch up on meh night reading bible, so far preface II, I reach after ten year. Meh eye pick up on de jumbie dark wor-king obeah on de side, den I see Amber dark jumbie skip and hopscotching straight in front. Meh see Le Crapo preacher Paris visit wit ah visage to cause meh cat to zip up like Nun and fock free everyting in site, include de two iron pillar holding up de roof ready.
.
Amber jumbie in Artise per-for-mance calling spirit to wake in front of National Housing Tenants. Dem still grinning at he wit teet. Le Crapo hopping, me say why dem eh trow fish net to hole he still. Is is sudden meh cat unzip, just so and meh body Belfon Bicycle in reverse. Meh knee begin to exercise wit thigh master double and I dream of donkey........ I feel I catching meh Best Village past..... Dance de Bellair oh Dance de Bellair...Me centre on Grand Stand Stage, representing meh Village, me, dance like Queen bee, de soca drumming have meh head in ah spin, meh wagang spirit leaving meh cat..and ah artiste spirit taking over. I is now I begin to dis-cover I is ah ........Where de garbage truck to buy meh art supple, like old wood, roof nail and scrap find car-nival stick in bead costume wit Elmer.
.

Meh cat slap meh quick, Susie Wong is five years yuh still have life in and sideways. I raise meh skirt invisible, and wand and dance meh way out of de place. Ah jump on de hand railing backwards and ride and lub up for free, I take two short and one long drop to de iron gate front, I cuff down and take meh money, and scar de security wit de bottle neck still for being a stinking zammie cause me never focking going back. I wave down every maxi taxi full wit man till I reach territory, meh Wood-Break and meh backseat five door mattress, is home free I is. Is home free I is. I tink all meh life, meh nanny look after meh when I skin down hill, meh nanny watch meh bruise. Is meh nanny who teach meh so to stand like cat woman, is meh nanny I do so remember.

Susie Wong is the pumpkin vine sister of La Diablesse

Miss Louise addresses her men

Is meh neighbour, Miss Louise oui

Me now finish eating meh Divali left over wit plenty meat this time, Lawd meh ca fast whole day witout like meh muddar. Meh curry channa, pumpkin and mango ride meh belly after I eat it morning, noon and night Divali. Me now settle down to watch meh TV movie and de news which may meh sick to vomit how dem, no we, treat dem Chinee so. Ah say Hazel must have smoke and bless dem Palace after she man sick in bed watching chandelier rattle and Mao children watching he like ghost from high Basilica ceiling. I does remember when dem show pict-ure of Africa Somalia race deading, and we small and unite to send dem money. UN report say is de most generous nation, now is dem turn to sent, I feel sad.

I now fluff meh pillow and rest meh neck when meh Sharp blow, Meh light dip. I pelt up like wonder woman and race to un plug meh fridge, meh two fan and TV. But I look to see like meh house lighting like is day and night. I say is God bless, if I have to pee wit meh hand spinning to find wall and toilet bow, dat light working bright, meh dough have to bounce in wall. I peep trew meh curtain and see my neighbour out in yard as if T&TEC come quick and cut he line cause he ain’t pay bill. He house so dark, me ca see me when is he self waving at me. I say, ” Boy is only meh toilet bulb working”, and tink dem so fas to know meh business. When last meh nephew boil on meh roof to find crack and fix leak, dem come boldface to ask what he use. If only is was bandit, dem eye get blind, dem see nutting, dem hear nutting too.

I tinking about meh freezer, how meh two well pack ham telling meh it ready to cook now, my brain processing and I dough want to feel shame when neigbour start smelling ham tick and is Christmas two month to reach. Next ting is commotion outside, Miss Louise take we street center, is big wave like police officer to stop de T&TEC truck. I see Louise addressing de driver and I turn meh ear better so I could hear what she saying, but meh no maco.

Me say meh meat not spoiling, I walk like cat back and get meh extension cord and plug in meh fridge, I hear de fan. I creep and attach me second extension, meh TV and fan, it come on. I turn down de volume like transistor radio, the fan breeze hitting meh skin, I feeling cool. I say, when dem still outside, I inside, meh toilet socket both working. I call out to meh, neigbour, ” Peal, meh one room lighting, I plug in meh fridge, it working, me ain’t know how long dem taking”. I close me curtain, and say loud, ” I sleeping like baby tonight, if dem ca fix we lights soon, I get meh fan to work”.

I go out still and she standing royal and addressing dem T&TEC truck in Queen English, Miss Louise pass eighty and she voice crystal clear. ” You sir are going to endanger your men and risk injury in that unkept parcel of land where the problem has arisen? ” De men come out truck and flashing torch like Star Wars. Miss Louise directing dem like sergent pointing where to go. But I look close, and say to meh self quiet, oh Lawd, Miss Louise have on no panty. I just glimpse she business, when de man torch pass and scan she tin nightie. Is why dem scatter so?

Meh eh believe wha I see in Royal Main Independence

I is not sorry, me eh abusing KFC

Meh frend reach, den we two taking Maxi Taxi in dis hot heat. Mavis rush for window, I tink, when dat wind hit she hairdo, me walking wey behind. Mavis tell meh is Park street,now meh body acting up. Sun hot, she say she going Chinee grocery next side. It hot, I ready to drop on pavement, I see car parts place, I go inside, ah asked, arm, I could sit down. De boy le meh, I say, is so hot, politely, I could get a glass of water. Boy gone in, I take out salt and put on de tip on meh tongue, is meh pressure. Boy bring righteous beastly cold yes. Ah say tanks very much.

I wait to cross street, I tell driver to stop, ah walk half, a tell de other too, I watch dem both, ah say tank you. I gone in grocery, ah ask big bag security, excuse meh, yuh see a short lady wit blue head tie come in side. Bag security tell meh is thousands does shop in here, put yuh bag here. Ah say I eh here to buy, all I ask if you see a short lady wit blue head tie just now. De Bag security tell meh put yuh bag here. My voice raising, You feel I come in here, as if I have no money, is dam fas wi yuhself, you sitting dere like Bank manager holding bag and tiefing slight. Let meh tell you somting, and he big, you dough know what I ca buy, Just because you see meh dress simple, and dough have high fancy boot, jacket and mobile ringing day and blasting night…Dem wit suit, is more poor and tiefing sky high. Is simple, I ask if you see a short lady wit blue head, you security, you ca even identify.I ain’t come to buy in yuh Chinee grocery, is thousands. If old people tiefing is because dem have small pension, and one block of cheese, tirty dollars, tirty dollars. who teifing now, watching bag and giving meh number block to hold. Mavis see meh, I so vex, my pressure raise. I suck a KC mint. All he partner watch, de man look blue.

Is Bank now central, Independence, place looking clean, I sit waiting, Mavis gone up. I take out meh ID, as say, look at dis, look at dis, I tell meh focking neice, I eh feeling well, she force meh to take out ID. I look as if I raise from Lapeyrouse or police just release bandit, look at dat is ten years till meh det I have to see meh face wit some much rage. I is not dat person. Old man come, we chat, he say teller tell he to wait, he tell meh, it ready, he ca hold, teller say he to go KFC. He dash, he old, he nearly get bounce, put down and come back. Ah say What, dem tell you to use KFC when dem using and spending big we money. Yuh wash yeh hand, yuh buy meh a piece? We laugh, he talk, ah tell he about meh pepper sauce

As I do remember, is you self bring dis Canalcouch in my now mop house. I take meh time and carefuly remove de meh Brand pepper sauce and it slip from meh hand, bounce once and den break. I tink to meh self, what nastyness come in here, she vice make it happen. I trow disinfectant and light candle were she foot stand. Next I does remember meh family gone way visit. Is big smiling how dis, how dat. say I fine when dem stinkers know I does sick. So one I ain’t mentioning she name, interrupt and ask boldface question over meh top secret recipe. She bark, So, Tani, I hear you does mix sweet mango, pommecythere and spice wit hot green pepper? Family come wit friend who eye big like owl and ears like bat pointing at meh. Ah watch she catspriddle and say, Is yes all of dat mix wit spoon in jar. I tink if dat focker listening, dat focker ain’t getting anything, me dough trust she when she go pelt down road and bitch try make large batch at HiLo food selling, wit stinking lable wit moon face.

Is only yesterday I findout from spy dat de two jar pack in suitcase fly America Mi-am-me reach dem two niece does fight big and measure line over wit yard stick, one over lickrish den de other. But spy say is one dat share as if I give dem servant breed sample. I pause, meh pressure drop, I slip a little and fall back in meh couch, I say WHAT? War you telling me? ………Den it come slowly…..You see yuh focking name on label? You choose jar simple because you feel you is high and mighty ? Let me tell you something, I look at he pict-ure…I go take meh fadder belt and whip yuh focking back so hard dat you never dream of he and meh pepper sauce. Kick yuh focking hardback out from meh life. You, you ever bodder to visit, but go eain free and teif bottle and pretend smart you invisable? When I bleed and slave you wajang mout find jokie and laugh. Poison in yuh focking tail, is poison.

I does remember when I pack neat, my fry chicken, meh macaroni pie, calaoo wit big slice of cooco in yuh Flavorite icecream, trow sligh meh pepper it does look like five star restaurant and you does still share wit when you reach. So I den tink, is ok, dem will learn. God tell meh to wait, dough bodder wit fools, petty nonsence but wait till de day when de big bottle fall …

I look at he pict-ure, I say to mehself, is you make dem so? He smile at meh, he say…Me? We laugh. I say I does remember when, we small, he, we all clean chataigne, he den come up boldface to we fadder, is I want share for friend.. Mah listen quiet, she say Big boy looking for sweet licks. Pa tell yuh no, if we shareing take from yuh own. You say no big and strong, if I dough get share loud, is none I want. He tell yuh straght, go walk to school, go ask yuh friend why he should have share when he eh help? You show big friend, yuh pocket dry, look yuh say to he, meh sisters finish dem already. He take schoolbook and pelt at fowl. Day eh over, we all laugh, is more cutass wit Pa slipper and favirite blue belt over yuh knee and bamsee.

We laugh, he tell meh I is right, but he eh watching de teller calling he. I tink, people old and you BoldFace tell dem go cross de street, as if dem Crawford in100 metre dash. I look up high, I see boardroom, I say dem would pelt down stairs, if elevator stop to jump car to use odder business toilet? I say nah. As soon, is Lord answer meh. I see man skip to flower pot and pee in circle, meh eh believe wha I see in Royal Main, and cleaner sprint like Bolt wit pill to mop up de place sparkling clean when old people around clapping, is true. I say dem mudder fockers, dey dough want dem shit inside, but willing to take dey money, dem does treat dem own elder like animal. Crapo smoke he pipe

The next time you see an elderly person needing help crossing the road or in need any sort of assistance , please offer. Banks should be required to have public washrooms for their customers.

In Trinidad folklore customs you should never pass a jar of pepper sauce from someone, but get it directly yourself or it would cause friction between both parties.

Meh Kiss Cake Business card

Madam, Grace, Holy, Swar and Feinin share a Kiss Cake

Madam, Grace, Holy, Swar, dis is de best piece of art ah see in five centuries. It have everyting to hang in yuh house. All yuh need is a big tick nail and hammer to pound it in. Yuh husband, Gandhara Ga, de Eight Hundredth go like it bad. Yuh dough need dem expensive $5,000 dollar fake maco frame, when it fall and break soon after yuh hang it, dem does say sorry.

Art in Trinidad pretty eh, is Coconut tree, man badeing, Car-ne-vale picture wit brown skin women wit one feddar and dem stinking black oily blue Devil, de one ah see yuh bending down wit last Monday in yuh red pom, pom shorts wit de big sign writing between. Jook here hard. I does wonder when dem paint vagrant on bench, waterfall, man with umbrella, old run down house wit bush snake and half naked children running in latrine den drinking nasty barrel water. Ah wonder if dem does or want to live like dat?

It go be jokie to see paintings of dem living in big high house, have big TV screen, Mercedes car, twenty wheel truck, surfboard or dem on plane flying to countries I never see because you is one of dem Diplomat living in house ten time bigger dan yuh one room in Lond-don. Or yuh friends who does take we faddar land and building high and feel dem own we. Allyuh does work hard on yuh yardboy here or go fete twelve time a week. Madam, Grace, Holy, Swar seeing does carry or see in it does vex mehmeh Maracas and Toco beach paint pretty when dem wipe out all dem stink garbage demde snap.

Oh lawd, ah eh tell yeh when I visit to big Art-tist show in Small University, lady is whatless in dis place we. I see ting me eh understand, ah say were de manual to read, is like dem VCR yuh remember, yuh have to press ten thousand button to set de time.


Madam, Grace, Holy, Swar is the fifth wife of Gandhara Ga, de Eight Hundredth

Between you and I, ah go share meh last creamy Kiss Cake, just tink back when dem oily red, white and black devil, lick up between and get at de cream as dey brush yuh down in de canal. Just now I hear dem big star jealousing meh Feinin Art. I know de boldface stealing so dem ca have meh gold between dem teet, Dem feel I go lie down so? Is cutlass all de way to meh bank. Madam, Grace, Holy, Swar, look, take meh Kiss Cake card, all meh billion art-tist fighting over meh thoughts, is Trinidad and Tobago I is from. Hello, yuh forget to give meh ticket or what?

Note: The Kiss Cake cream cake is packaged with a thin white card that can be suitable as a call card in an emergency, providing you use a felt pen

Marion Crane's last Orange Juice gulp

If it's Citrus Growers Association Orange Juice, I drinking it with ants


Ah catch yuh wit meh juice

From the kitchen...

Marion ah tell yuh ah having friends over. Is long time since we host like dem fete days every weekend. Now people fraid to go out after 3pm. Is you have to serve dem in yuh Best Village dance de belle costume, and mix meh favorite, de best, Co-operative Citrus Growers Association Orange Juice. Is only one tin remain. Remember is plenty tap water to add to make it stretch. Wait, is you singing he tune so,

From the shower…

Listen to the heart, am so alone, honey, brother bring me a phone, Hello, I giving back to you, I changing your ways, if only you believe, am your lover, like your brother...

The shower curtain confrontation...

Marion ah catch yuh wit meh juice tin, dough tell my yuh drorts meh Trinidad Orange? Meh party guest just arrive, is what now, Matouk Mauby to stir and serve Detective Milton Arbogast, Sam Loomis, Sheriff Al Chambers, Tom Cassidy, Caroline and California Charlie. Is big star I invite after I sweat all day making grave, and now ah have to make shovel for one more.

Norman, is I buy dis separate, you must be Psycho putting on yuh mudder old dress and pretending to be a flim star. Yuh looking for man oh what? I see yuh pose on de bookmann naked, looking same way as yuh come pop out yuh mudder hole, and bawl before de doctor slap yuh. Yuh ain't shame?

Marion, I find you farse wit yuh self, you just jealous over I, Yuh better leave some drops so I ca say is Orchard Orange Drink ah serving, and fool dem all.

Addendum: To truly scare an audience, Alfred Hitchcock believed that secrecy over a plot should motive the audience in suspense. Psycho had its moments, Janet Leigh's scream sent chills, I beg to differ

Note: A wife's tail. When diluting a fruit drink, alway add the main ingredient first. Juice + water, never water + juice

Tobago I ain't forget you

Feinin as a Tobagonian athlete

We tell dem we different in ways and language. We not weak and lazy over money and oil. Who dem feel we small, we big in we heart of we own. Ah have land, ah have fruit tree bearing, Ah have vegetable garden and still you tink you better. Talk, talk talk and never do, do, do. Stay off meh property. Tanti Mavis, where yuh get de meat to use in dis manish water? Remember is goat race next week

Terms: Manish water is a soup prepared using the testicles of the goat as the base meat

Sharon shows she Birth Papers

Feinin celebrating a Chinese holiday

Sharon leekim fat hong loo chinsue cho teelip pigling Small, I see you and yuh creole husband celebrating Chinee arrival day at Broadway, Independence Square Friday last. Meh maco neighbour tell meh dat yuh trying to make copy like Eric. She say from she window, she hearing bedspring creaking, and you flying up in de air and spinning like copter, den bawling as if yuh want to make headline with five udder in tomorrow paper or borning twin, natural.

Sharon leekim fat hong loo chinsue cho teelip pigling and Gregory Small at Independence Chinee Restaurant

I went to yuh family Chinee grocery cow heel, salt prune, red pepper mango, copybook, laundry, car parts and Chinee cantonese food place and see yuh have import on yuh menu called, all dem new breed, direct. Ah order meh special fry wanton with plenty ketchup and pepper. De lady behind de cage and chain, tell meh, War yo u tink me have ket ch up fac to ry lik Ma touk in de fo wl coup. Ah say to meh self, allyuh raising price as if I is de Prime Minster wife fail to teach meh maths, is five dollar off when I use up all dat ketchup. Belindrix, woman, how many time I tell yuh not to hand meh de pepper sauce, is I suppose to get it meh self. Is fallout yuh looking for when we leave Hong Sing and Bar Restaurant license under Joe Small and Sons or what?

Terms:
Eric referring to Eric Williams's daughter who has Chinese Heritage.
Direct meaning restaurant owners from main land China

Addendum: An example

Check dem big house up dere

1. Rastaman thin or median size, front teeth with some cavities, deep husky voice dressed in white. 2. Red woman or dirty white, straight curly hair, deep blue eyes, thick in size. They both are looking at a house upon a hill. She leans into him, her back nestles on his chest, then he sings to her, a Jamaican reggae lyric in a soft tone

Good day Madam

Feinin as a Syrian cloth peddler

Good day Madam, I want you tell you of my future as I lay my goods for you to see. What I see for my country far and my people near. I promise to myself that all my tears of sweat will flourish into something greater that you would ever expect of me, humble as I am. This, I see a land that belongs to my kin, ruled from seas and shores. Food, drink, transport, media and housing will bear my fruit. Fear is in all of us who lack a vision to succeed.

Madam, if you don't mine my ill manners, Jah, dis ice box cold Stag,Grand Bazaar
Carib cooling meh down as if I playing Golf in meh own course and smoking meh cigar imported from Miami oui