The Queen orders assassination on former daughter in-law Fergie

Greed attracts Greed

Prince Charles goes into hiding, Buckingham Palace shuts down London, Tower of London holding cell open for business, battle ships HMS Queen Elizabeth and King George surround Bahrain to save the Duke of York from further heartbreak

Queen Elizabeth caught in a video sting as she shakes ( gloves off) the hands of a criminal, after closing the deal. The imposer, Mazhit-Manky-Mahamood is captured, drawn and quartered. His guts are fed to the hogs

The Queen counting the tabloid newspaper Crown notes for selling everything on Fergie at a value of 30P, Evening Edition. MI6 gives Her Majesty the scoop, were she was conceived. Between a horse and ox, in a padlock during a 2pm feeding , the act took some time to figure out the logistics of which mare was open to mate..

.

In a fit of rage, Her Majesty rips apart the dough and then destroys her prized rose garden, she will not attend the execution

The Queen overcome by shame , Her Majesty collapses, the Duch-less of York has ended her love

Fergie: "It is true that my financial situation is under stress. However, that is not an excuse for my serious lapse in greed and I am very sorry that this has happened to me and that my mother in law's portrait on theses Bank notes will remind me that I still love seeing her 500,000 times in this way."

News of the World; Does York suffer from a gambling habit? what her interview on Oprah on Tuesday who pays her $$$ to spills her dilemma. The Queen will be watching, deciding whether to condemn Oprah as an instigator of embarrassing her family further.

Howard Hughes's Temptation of Will

Hangman


Howard Hughes' biplane

In this study of Howard Hughes I have many crashes, the upper wing toppled, the twine snapped, the wheels and axle broke apart, the engine casing collapsed. Was this an omen? Was I seeing my fate? After all this was a troubled man, a true visionary testing his ability to conqueror something other than his well being


This at the very least was a playboy, I felt it immediately. In the feinin, "I saw it in his smile, and with his disposition. This was a man who had it all. In possibilities and tragedies. An extraordinaire who took giant leaps to free himself from the (peasants). A triumph of will, a beautiful spirit who overcame the monotony of time, alone. - Jealous, shameful people, take it bastards."

Temptation



So there it is, my end, alone, tired, frighten and ashamed of myself, I ended my life

The Coco Channel Heist at Musee d'Art Moderne

Underground Art Collectors


Carl Latherhair, Sabasbation Johneau and Amedeo Modigliani's "Woman with the Fan(1919)" pose for the Underground Art Collectors Magazine

Sabasbation Johneau: “You know Maestro Carl, I had to sleep with the curator to get this frame, I hope you happy because it felt so good for the first time since you’ve been seeing me, now get that Modigliani off the wall, don’t you see those Coco Channel decorative nails have ruined our bedroom decor”


Carl Latherhair; “Carta ragazzo came here, kneel , what have I told you about boasting, all I asked you is if you deliver the newspaper weekly at 12am and if it was ok for you to sleep over and how can yo say I’m dating you? Where's the penthouse Carta ragazzo, you don’t expect me to visit you in one of your shared bunkers, “whack “


Who owns this work besides Carl Latherhair?

1. A Collector
2. A fool
3. One of forty forgeries out there
4. 50% off the value of the stolen painting
5. The gallery

* Carta ragazzo - Paper Boy

After the Musee d'Art Moderne heist

Introspection - Eric Eustace Williams

In the later study of Eric Williams, I encountered many inconsistencies, and felt frustrated as if my mocking had hurt, but it was understandable clear that his vision never persuaded me to think otherwise, his love for this nation.

In the feinin; "We know that islands such as ours are in limbo. We share the same dreams of Nations much older and grander than ours. Please spend time building, working in harmony. Solve no ones problems but your own.. King, dream, united people, infant stage, money woes, marriage" 7/8/09


Dem small snake grow large and playing vicious now when I breed dem meh best in de Heliconia plant. Is time to sharpen meh cutlass blade and cut off dem head before dem tree bite and poison meh dead like ah Mah pih pee. Look how dem suffocate de fruit tree.....



Ladies and gentlemen, DEM SNAKE TOPPLING MEH HIGH CHAIR, DAUGHTER ERICA COME RESCUE MEH PLEASE BEFORE I BUST MEH HEAD AND DEM MAKE AH DISPLAY CAST OF IT MAKING MEH LOOK LIKE AH FOOL

ERICA in the distance; " Daddy, daddy remember when you always got to say at the finest hotels in London and those world class cigar houses , daddy, daddy remember."

Eric; "ERICA WHY DON'T YOU KEEP YUH FOCKING BIG MOUTH SHUT BEFORE YOU SPILL WHERE WE STASH DE MONEY. WHEN IS MY TIME, YUH BETTER NOT FOIL UP DE SUSPENSE TO KEEP MEH NAME IN DEM PEOPLE HISTORY, NOW GO MAKE TWO SALA ROTI FOR MEH, I FEELING FOR CURRY."

Don't drink nuts and drive

A Bobo Shantis selling Haile Selassie I nuts on de road


Ras, dis Lady Hochoy baked " Special" nuts salty and sweet nice make from God's retarded children in all he glory from dem bad-mind parent who make dem so. Eh, ras, bumbaclot, ah ask yuh to clean meh windshield wit yuh hairnet?"

What to look for

1. A busy six lain highway
2. A well groomed man covering his rasta with a wrap
3. Bags of nuts and cashews

As I was doing this study, a man came to gate selling pies and drinks from a larger cooler which he carried on a hand trolley. With another work, the Jehovah Witness came canvasing, I could not move, as my face was covered iwith black paint

Feinin at Zen

Come, and sample Feinin Smithy spicy corn soup lingerie and ting

Meh secret ingredient does have dem coming back for more, Eh yuh want more dumpling

By all means, this is a true story behind a corn soup vendor who added his own special seasoning*. Take a closer look at the ladle. As for the vendor character, I wanted him to carry a matty ras, have silver teeth, a Hawaiian shirt, a towel and white shorts. The Zen fete goer had his fancy silk shirt open to chest exposing his 24k gold chain. He oblivious to what he being served, as he watches patrons enter or be denied into the discotheque.

Feinin Smithy, president of the Corn Soup Federation of Vendors from the English Speaking Caribbean

What to look for:

1. One portable table with a decorative table cloth, the vendor stands behind it

2. One or two large vats

3. A gas burner and a propane tank identical to the one shown here

4. Styrofoam cups, paper napkins, pepper dispensers

Corn soup is a soothing broth of vegetables, peas, meat stock and seasoning and enjoyed after a night of feting. The vendors are seen outside clubs.

* This is based on a actual event after the pot spilled over and exposed an under garment

Zen is a popular discotheque in Port of Spain, Trinidad

Try Feinin's Hot Triples

Gim meh ten more wit slight pepper and plenty mango.....Let meh see, Mavis say she want two, witout, Paula beg meh to buy she four, one for she popo belly, Bobesingh say is six wil kuchela, and plenty pepper, he bamsee go dead later, I looking for four, slight, full wit cucumber, and oh fadar, dem lazy staff who have meh slaving and getting big boof from de line as if I break biche, want twenty wit every-ting...

What does a Doubles vendor look like?

Anti Clockwise:

1. The Doubles vendor* and his cart, generally he** stands on a box with a sign to the front.
2. The cart contains a bucket of channa and the bharra. There is a shelf where the condiments are placed, namely, pickled cucumbers, kuchela, mango and pepper.
3. Customers who eat doubles on the spot, like this fire brigade character. And then there are business men who carry a list. (This is a real occurrence, queues are long)
4. The doubles collector who manages the money. He may carry a conversion chart to make calculating easier. Here, I have a pencil at his ear, and wearing a dog chain. What's missing are expensive shoes.
5. The cooler provides beverages, and a small tank (not shown) is used to dispense water.



* I also included a hairnet, food badge and a pale which contains the channa. The attaché case had a roll of tissue paper as well as the bags of doubles, it was to supplement the paper napkins.
** "Pa when I grow up, I too is becoming ah Doubles man like ma", this was said after the little girl consumed a fresh doubles at the University of the West Indies, they are considered the best on the island.
Learn more about Trinidad Doubles

Feinin at Museum of Contemporary Art LA STORE

Peter is only young nuts I have, jelly just finish, dat shark and bake looking good, yuh buy it by meh nephew Richard's again. Whey, where yuh get dat? Me just make ah LA and buy de same beach towel, now to find dem selling it here in ah stall I here yuh just set up by de look out. You into counterfeit or what... stueps...*

This luxurious cotton beach towel measures a staggering 60 × 70 inches and features the work of Scottish painter Peter Doig. Peter is a contemporary artist who uses memory and his Kodak Instamatic as a canvas device. This beautiful beach towel features his recognizable," Me bading at Blue Basin, de watar cold as ice"; it is a re-occurring theme in his paintings.

Artists towels are it, in contemporary Art

Produced by the Maracas Coconut Vendors Association, M.C.V.A. which funds the Save the Artists Towels Series, 2010*. The collection is part of W.H.E.Y, a commercial venture to sell more of Peter from off the walls, and onto your body, absorbing water from every hidden crevice.

Drip dry, image does not run unless bleached

Regular Price: $600.00 TT
Member Price: 10 % off

The Muse of Contemporary Art LA STORE
After Peter Doig Beach Towel * Note the errors on their website

Just a reminder that I wet my body for this parody, unfortunately the camera did not pick up.

"Whey" a Trinidadian idiom that describes awe

" Stuep," a physical sound produce between the lips that expresses astonishment or unwanted surprise

David Altmejd’s muse on Western Art

Feinin's brain after death

David Altmejd is very clever, you just have to look at da Vinci's anatomical drawings,Bosch's Garden of Earthly Delight, Michelangelo's statue of David, Dadaism, death...... by flying shards of glass, with some Jeff and Cicciolina used within a biblical context by his sculptural collages, deeply influenced by Damien Hirst.


After David Altmejd the Holes

Tim's secret designer Elmo - Project Runway 7

The Elmo K Mart Clearance Collection


Tim: " Elmo, surprise, it me honey"

Emilio: "Tim, Tim, did anyone see you? (They embrace) its been over four months Tim homely, how's my (white johnson) hanging?"

Tim: "Heidi wants us to go to Walt Disney Park as the gayest couple, the first for Runway Project."

Emilio: "That German hoe can't keep her mouth shut, rumors are she's going to chose parakeet Jay over that bisexual hybrid dominatrix Meanla."


Tim: "Emilio, let me give you a little education, carry this as your brand and the entire World would be laughing at you, common sense tells me, its over... "

Tim: "Lets clear it up Elmo to all the TV land fools out here that our animosity against each other is none of anyone business but Heidi's. You fell in love with me after I allowed our two extended hours on the burlap challenge to beat Ping's classic look with a hands on all over your bod, baby critique to what those three drunks are looking for like me inspecting your Harlem booty.“

Emilio: "I don't care what they think Tim homey, everyone is extremely jealous, I have first hand experience, yet exposing those vocal aired love squabbles helped us both, I was so hot then that I urinated on myself, but I did not see any mess over my fabric, I wonder who licked it up?"


Fascist Elmo, where is your secret lover ?

Tim: "Do what you ever want with me Elmo, I really don't see you facing all those people when your models get a fright over your collection, bets now it's all over with our relationship, and you darling and all your fascism will be in the recycle bin exported as land fill..."

After Project Runway 7

Feinin at the Whitney Biennial

Purchased from the Whitney two hour Easter Bunny Sale…


A version parodying Andy Warhol inspection the art work

After Jessica Jackson Hutchins "Couch for a long time "

The Whitney explains: " Jessica Jackson Hutchins explores the relationships between people and objects and how they both form and inform each other. To create this work, Hutchins glued newspaper articles about Barack Obama on the surface of a sofa repurposed from her childhood living room. Ceramic pieces, grouped haphazardly on the couch, can be viewed as surrogates for the people who once sat on its cushions. Couch For a Long Time fuses public and private moments, creating a sense that monumental world events can pervade everyday life. "


After Richard Aldrich untitiled, wood on a pedestal

Together with an assemblage, the Whitney writes, Aldrich uses three scrap pieces of wood, which form a vaguely figurative sculpture, the installation embodies abstract autobiographical references in a meticulous, selective approach that characterizes much of his work



What I'm looking at is content, yes, but what do the folds suggest? After Tauba Auerbach.....

Anthony's big condom gown - Project Runway 7

Anthony's elegance look

Project Runway episode 12

Seth :
Michael: 'Is this Jiminy Cricket from Walt Disney, and that model you have, who the fuck is she and what modern woman like me would have so many pants suits in my closet?”

Heidi: " Micheal, I think its time to take away his stud gun."

Seth: " I want my Valeria back"

Anthony:
Cynthia: “Any common sense person would wear your dress without looking like a clown. Look at them all, do you think Heidi would be caught dead in one besides yours? “

Anthony: “Thank you Cynthia, Michael thinks my dress looks like a big blue condom, something tells me that his papa used one, Anthony bets it was super small and slipped off somewhere smelly and scary ....I’ll never venture into. And granted you gave me $300 dollars, but Girl, I need some extra, sorry times are hard, why spend all that on raw silk for a one time wear? Would you rather drive here in a MAN MADE Benzs or go all natural on a donkey and cart?.”

Emilio:
Heidi: “Absolutely Ricky Ricardo, Lucy would be so proud." (In the many attempts to parody Emilio, I found myself soulless)

Emilio: "To answer your question Heidi since you did not asked me directly, I'll like to take you and Micheal to Walt Disney Park, Nina taste in fashion is a snooze, I think chewing all those coca leaves as a child has affected her sense and sensibility to understand clothing."

Mila:
Nina: “I love the Snow White look, lets talk after the show, there are a few alterations to be made. Why should Heidi covet the red carpet " Worst Dress List" four times running, I want to have the honour this time."

Michael: " And its so one-dimensional like you Nina"

Mila: "Why do men, Michael get all the attention.....oh, you are one of those fairy things..(she clears her throat)...sorry..(then addresses Heidi) I don't see Emilio wearing his four winning dresses up his ass, at least I wear what I make, not like that soul Greek cap he pretends to be the Know and Know all. Well you're a loser Emilio, ( tapping him on the shoulder with a yard stick) and why in God's name would your parents name you after a muppet, Emilio, Elmo, you see any difference? ( She turns to Jay) And why Jay did he not pick me? Why the Big tears, are you sleeping with Anthony again when I saved your fucking ass in the St. Marks look challenge?"


Coco Chanel

You can't understand fashion if you are told what it entails, glamor need not follow the footsteps after me, for the sake of looking your best, art caps it all.

Jonathan's drapery dress - Runway Project 7

Ping sets standards - Curtain boobs wraps are in



Top boobs model at Merci des Benz show room, Frankfurt Germany


Red carpet Heidi 360º look; " I'm dropping that Emilio / Jesus / dress for this short sexy one by Jonathan, Brandice should see that having "big" boobs makes all the difference. My husband, Scar, has his "big" down there, at times I can't even walk straight in any dress. "

Project Runway - If Mila and Ping reunited

April Issue

Ping after Mila look

Project Runway with Feinin, " I'm me, I use to think I was you, but, now I'm me, that's why I straighten my hair to look like you." Heidi, Heidi Heidi Hoe, yuh better eh say Auf Wiedersehen to meh in yuh tweeter voice wit false teet grin, I far have morals, meh eh auf meh brassiere like you in de sea.

Ping: " Its all my idea Mila, I think its just gorgeous as the fabric drapes over the model's body like a burlap rice bag in a classical way. I love the hat, its funky, hee hee,"

Milia: " Ping, Ping, Ping, Pong! Is that a door bell. Hello, is anyone there who can sew like me, and look at my signature scarfs and jacket, its unique, just like Seth's black leather pants suits. Feinin has such strong features, Brandise should be a little concerned, I am so not so loyal in picking her again. "

Tim: "Girls, girls tell me what happening here, who's the catty one?"

Ping: " You see Tim, this time the fabric loops around the waist , and covers up the buttocks, testis and phallus."

Feinin: ""Tim, she kept giggling when she checked which way it hung, I told her to stop after four or five hand fitting. She just does not listen, I think she should be deported, anyway I decided to borrow Brandise's under garment to cover myself up."

Milia:" Tim, I am using my brilliant signature chest board pattern, no one here has the ability to see what I am really doing, that is muted colour blocking. I can see no one too can design or sew as good as me. Hey Tim, don't touch my Brother sewing machine."

Tim: "Girls, girls I really don't like it at all, really, it tiresome Ping...good work team leader Mila."

The judging:

Nina: “There is something unique here, I love the sack look, I like that feinin can reach into Brandise’s signature look and pocket, but I question the bee mask, I was expecting a smoke can. This is backward thinking fashion."

Michael: "For God sake, that's about one hundred years ago. this art deco, the romanticism wig look is history, and remember Feinin is allergic to hairnetting, is that head piece toxic foam, Ping is stepping out of her 1920's to a mode, sleek modem look, Feinin pulled it off beautifully, I think its rice paddy couture."

Heidi: " I like how Feinin carried this look, I also love the two piece farmer brown bodice and skirt. I could see myself in it on the cover of marie claire once I cut away Mila's unconventional black and white pattern flaps, must we all bear this again?"

Guest Madonna: " Who did the sewing here, it looks like Ping took control, it is darned so well, I love to see it as a label."

Of course this is a parody from the television show Project Runway, So I decided to make a dress using cloth and crocus bag secured with safety pins and masking tape.

Dame Lorraine - Rachel Pringle

Dame Lorraine, Rachel Pringle of Barbados

The Barbadian beauty woes, ....men break* in their pants. She releases her merkin belt, Canadian Newfoundlanders ** arrive at the Puerto de España docks...

The black Marilyn Monroe Lorraine

Rachel: "If dat tuna fish whore feel because she sleep wit John Focking K feel she have ting on meh, well meh sweet sugar cane juice and vat rum make meh flat land owner nearly give way CANADA for we black molasses whiplash syrup dem Jah make ca make meh so breed in Bajan prime pollock".


One of the many portraits of Pringle

In the Dame Lorraine studies, I had encountered many compounded problems keeping all together the elements of the costume, this was a parody of Rachel Pringle, but the studies look much like Chris Ofilli's portraits. Regardless of the outcome, I need assistance in these types of parodies where I am unable to see correctly, there were details that went array.

* Cum
** Canadian Atlantic cod

Cézanne's model

The first study of Paul Cézanne which there are flaws, yet I found his disposition as a fiery fighter. Cézanne marked his territory regardless of his friendship with other impressionist painters, he despised Gauguin.


After Louis-Auguste Cézanne, Reading
and Renoir's young girl at the piano

In Pierre-Auguste Renior, the facial posture and buttocks and small of the back was necessary to accentuate the likeness of his (female) nudes, however in this portrait the bust statue out vision. The photograph is over exposed. The cloth that rests on the chair may be as old of Renior's paintings. It should be noted that these were long exposures that exceeded 10 seconds. Renoir deemed himself as a private individual, his devotion to beauty is kept in secret.


Paying attention to the tilt of the hat and the subject's glare at the painter

Hirst sets a world indoor record at Tate's turbine hall

Bring out the beast



Damian confronts his morality at 32 km/h* leaving a trail of horse manure to fill the crack** at Tate Modern's turbine hall

The bull: "Lets get it straight , which deity you've got to worship?"


Hirst: "Mother of Gold, Sister of Money...you Messiah!"


Cow: " My milk feeds your children, how dare you denigrate my body"

Still-life, "Head Hunter" after Paul Cézanne

* Speed based on the Tiger shark

** The installation, Shibboleth at the Tate gallery in London, England
See the feinin of Hirst's spin paintings