Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts

Monday, August 17, 2009

MANFHEFJAPKRAZESPADEHOWOKCH3W@HKONKSPIT Tagger


Tagger MANFHEFJAPKRAZESPADEHOWOKCH3W@HKONKSPIT with his brushes and paint cans

Officer, get off meh tanti mudder neighbor house who just pack up and gone, Ca-nah-da dis morning. Ah calling meh frend, frend, judge frend. I eh no he name. Wait, meh seconds run out, le meh yours nah, Government paying for it, ah ca talk free all day, month and year til election. Yuh aint notice de meh bite up 1976 Rights Enshrined over de Protection of Fundamental Human Rights and Freedoms paper print wit lime juice? It rubbing next to meh painting / fete rag.

Oh lawd is only yes-to-day I see meh beau-t-ful red, black and white trow way in front of NP gas station break down. Ah say to meh self, who dem people living in we country leave we forty seven year flag roll up and mash over like dead dog with car tire imprint after feteing in we all purpose stadium Petting it up in de air and dough focking care. It have meh Carlyle sic in he grave wondering if he waste he time designing it. Ah say NO me ain't want none of dem who frend in Government printry stamping Passport and Birtpaper like giving way free hops bread and cheese.

Only weekend meh woman and I gone to de Hyatt to take in de view of we prestigious Port of Spain International Waterfront. Ah tell she see dat white rust boat out der, dat is we Tobago Pride. Yuh know ah have to spend more on she to get meh quick suck so I decide to go movietown and park in de middle of de Off Shore where meh car safe. I taking she for ice cream to give she a hint. But when I driving, ah find ah seeing all kind of big letter looking all de same. First is MANF den HEF, JAP, KRAZE, SPADE, HOWOK, CH3W@H, KONK and SPIT....and say waye Martians reach and talking too weeee.

Officer I inviting you personally to meh art exhibition just up de road where dem old hoe does eye we both. Ah here yuh does like to pump dem with gas as if you is gas attendant, a dem is gas tank hole. Funny dem Graffiti vagrant showing in one tiny room, is real fight breakout, you wait and jail. Officer, yuh hear de joke when one of dem wake up as see MANFHEFJAPKRAZESPADEHOWOKCH3W@HKONKSPIT zog up all round he wall, well is shit ah still smelling. Oh gooud, if dem coming to de exhibition dey better hide in black matrix shades, is only jackass go show he face. Look, look, one of dem hardbacks coming to tell meh I vandalizing.

Bookmann, you’ve been Punked!

meh-car-need-replacing

Nah, all dem Graffiti vagrant buying meh a new vehicle

Ashton, you take meh waye pass meh bedtime to come out to art show and gate lock. Boy ah ain’t tell yuh how I find dem speaking like meh. Ah see one, ah see two, ah say oh ho, allyuh talking funny. Me aint understanding what dem saying. Boy, I just get comment about a Graffiti vagrant and he friends lying to he and saying nobody like it de bookmann. Ah say them feel I is bobolee, me ain’t saying notting. Ah feel like tell he I need Graffiti vagrants to come paint meh outside wall and around meh house, Christmas reaching soon. Is I suppling de white paint, is I giving dem de white chalk and charging dem after.

Boy meh eye boddering meh, I blind up wit seeing dem new all purpose Art blog. Art dis, art dat, flim, interview, Blog,Blog,Blog. I does laugh when it start yesterday and finish tomorrow. I does look way at dem first post, dem change it, next day, dem change it. Ah say, how dem minding, cow, goat, pig, fowl, snake at de same time? I feeling shame to tell you I feel all dem fraudulent, ah know is big word I using now. I gone to show in house foundation, dis wild girl come out wit cloth and have people wit big camera fliming. She going woo,woo, I get frighten, I see she making lines, bawling woo, woo den making big circle. After she finish, is big clap and dem talking hard on mobile. So I go hid to see she space ship landing. Ah look so, den so, next ting is boom, she gone we.

I gone up stairs, a see Big Collar Poster… Hear dis name nah, Galvanize 2. Is six mont now and I an’t see nutting. Boy is politician handing out sweetie. Dem go read artpaper in dem building wit roof with big hole.

Ashton, dis does get meh, all man jack going fete later, dey saying to meh face, Are you going to that party? Ah ask she, who fete?, Meh once friend come up, she going too. Here dis, I asked she, who fete? she ain’t answer, I ask she again, she mout close. Oh hoe, you feel you is white, allyuh inviting. Ah say yes, dem walking like cock and hen passin meh straight. Yuh see why I does ge vex. I want to ask dem why dey cork?

Ashton, le meh tell yuh boy, meh island ha big brush show. Boy ah never see wantless before in meh life. Ah gone to see one, is passport, ID, driver permit, electronic birtpaper yuh need. Ah take out my mobile, ah show dem meh Junior Sec freepass piture. Ah, look, wey dem have women nanny skinup, man tocalunks hanging, and giant woman paint. Ah look at she , ah run and hid, de lord have he ways. Hear dis nah, I gone in second room, is I seeing man smiling watching man totee, ah say what, is stinking buller man dem have showing. Ah look around, ah head get confuse, is if I in dungeon with chain ball. Ashton, I know yuh marry to dat old hardback, she teach yuh more bedroom moves wit paperbag.....Bu, bu Ashton, what de mudder cunt, is laventille gun dem want meh find.

Hey Bookmann, you’ve been Punked! Dem Graffiti vagrant better be using decals on meh car, or is new one.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Pusss, Sweets, Darling, Red man, whahappen yuh fraid woman or what?


Feinin working on her doctorate carrying Johnson's baby power to freshen up and broken bottle for protection

You ain't see Taini
La Diablesse passin in dat Hilux and keeping she face straight wit she coki-eye self, is only last night I pull up meh dress for she driver and suck he soft prick, ogeed, as if he working in Klim cheese factory. Meh favorite is dem Maxi Taxi man who does drive meh in style to de off shore lookout. Wit long carpet floor, decoration on de ceiling and ras high bombaclot tune to bull, wit pretty view to watch from de exit window. Ah ask he, where dem school girl hiding?

Yuh passing slow in front by meh and meh powder sisters now since, 007 and Caribbean isle shut down and cause yuh ain't have enough gas money to make a Columbian Marabella. Now dey put big stinking bright light in de swings, chasing we away from dat prime spot.

I tell dem police, judge, doctor, lawyer to wear rubber and dey does sour because dey want to break fresh way in my nunie. I tell dem, you like to keep we top rank in World corruption, murder, kidnap and now you feel I ketching Aids case you carrying. Den, after yuh satisfy yeh want to disrespect meh, as if I have no heart, not knowing yuh mudder make you de same way as yuh try to trow meh out de moving vehicle, when I tell yuh how much yuh own meh including a Normandie or high class Hilton.

Yuh ain't notice i carry bottle to stigmata yuh still to leave permanent mark on yuh face. Fight in Zen my asse, is Wajang yuh wit.

Terms:
Working in Klim cheese factory - Smegma

Ali's universal religion


Feinin with his Good Friday prediction of breaking an egg in a Rum drinking, Swiss peanut butter glass

Allyuh jokie when yuh all does put on costume and enter church, mosque, temple and beg hard wit yuh Bible to God and Jesus for thing like Lotto number and wickedness to udders. Den yuh does come to me when yuh faith blank yuh. I know exactly what you want, I see it in yuh eyes and in yuh hands. I have all de Obeah to work on yuh enemy, right now I feel dem working some on meh, but I pass that already wit meh Super Seven.

Yeh bring what I tell yeh, yeh do what I say. Yuh borrow she pantie from de neigbour line. Is after she husband and he corn soup business yuh want? I fresh out of incense, yuh say is dat brand yuh buy, import from India but make in China. Sootar, come kill and pluck dis wild fowl,remember, is a twenty a pound, de meat sweet in a Pilau after it does bussup running insect in meh yard and keep it clean.

It does not matter, I tell yuh to pray, pray for what yuh want, is not me yuh praying too, is yuhself. By de way, is 6 calling in de whe whe, and take a good bush bart to cleanse yuh nasty ways


Obeah, meh ain't beleive in dis religion de whole country does follow

Addendum: The corn soup incident of a pot tipping over and discovering a pair of underwear in the soup's batch.

Terms: Whe Whe, an illegal form of gambling played by men

Monday, April 20, 2009

Western Hemisphere leaders fail to ratify accord - Summit of the Americas


One of the two cruse ships sunk at the Bay of Sealots, Trinidad

Port of Spain, thebookmann wonder of the world

After what the Prime Minster hoaxed as a historic success, he put his signature on a large florescent pink bristle board card designed by cultural historian,
Brian Mc Farlane. The Port of Spain treaty which the host of the Fifth Summit of the Americas solely approved pushed measures that the East Indian Doubles will be now be officially be an African Triniadadiangrenadian delicacy. Western Hemisphere leaders failed to ratify this as it denied the Rights of the Indian.

After the closing ceremony, the Prime Minster's wife called, Dictatoresha her cousin on her Red Berry North Korean Digicel and spoke in a language unknown to well educated citizens before 1962. The event that took place ten minutes after the two fully loaded Princess Caribbean cruse liners departed from the Port of Spain port is a scene described as hands raised, praise d Lawd, flag waving, Machel Montano soca fête groupie gone bad, as both ships plundered under in the most polluted part of Sealots, submerging the ungrateful delegates after all what her man had worked for, got sick for, and done for them for free. This was followed by bells ringing. Sources pinpoint the Shouter Baptists Mafia was involved.

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